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Alexsmith12 · 18-04-2023, 04:06

As the title mentioned my best friend of 12+ years died from alcoholism 2 days ago. She had struggled with alcohol since before I met her and and Im now 30 years old. In highschool it just seemed like she was a bit of a intense partier and eventually I started drinking just as much.
I went on to college and she dropped out of high school but began bartending and had relationships etc etc. The drinking was getting worse but she was still my friend. The past few years it got to the worst point its been, she had tried to commit suicide several times before and was never successful so I always had it in my mind Ide wake up to a text telling me she was gone. Our communication has been sporadic recently, because I had gotten tired of her drinking and trying to help her to no avail and every time we would talk she would be drinking or would pass out on the phone so I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore until she genuinely tried to stop drinking.
5 days ago she texted me trying to reach out to me and I was angry because she had asked my mom for money behind my back (in my mind to fuel her addiction) and instead of being nice I confronted her about it and she apologized and said everyone had abandoned her and I told her to maybe think about why that was, and that her drinking is the issue and maybe she needed to reevaluate her life. She told me she loved me and I was still her bestfriend but she didnt expect me to act like this and said maybe we needed some distance and hopefully we could talk soon and I said thats her decision. 5 days later she went to the hospital and died from a massive heart attack and organ failure due to alcohol. Her aunt sent me a picture of her in the hospital and she was completely yellow/green something I thought I would have never seen in my life. .I never got to say good bye and the last conversation we had was me being frustrated with her and now Ill be going to spread her ashes this weekend. My heart is broken.
Thank you so much everyone for the kind words, I haven't really reached out to anyone in my own life to talk about this as its very hard for me to be vulnerable and ask for help so I deeply appreciate all these comments, it has made my day a little bit easier.

18-04-2023, 04:06	#142
Alexsmith12 Юзер Реєстрація: Apr 2023 Повідомлення: 1	As the title mentioned my best friend of 12+ years died from alcoholism 2 days ago. She had struggled with alcohol since before I met her and and Im now 30 years old. In highschool it just seemed like she was a bit of a intense partier and eventually I started drinking just as much. I went on to college and she dropped out of high school but began bartending and had relationships etc etc. The drinking was getting worse but she was still my friend. The past few years it got to the worst point its been, she had tried to commit suicide several times before and was never successful so I always had it in my mind Ide wake up to a text telling me she was gone. Our communication has been sporadic recently, because I had gotten tired of her drinking and trying to help her to no avail and every time we would talk she would be drinking or would pass out on the phone so I told her I couldn't speak to her anymore until she genuinely tried to stop drinking. 5 days ago she texted me trying to reach out to me and I was angry because she had asked my mom for money behind my back (in my mind to fuel her addiction) and instead of being nice I confronted her about it and she apologized and said everyone had abandoned her and I told her to maybe think about why that was, and that her drinking is the issue and maybe she needed to reevaluate her life. She told me she loved me and I was still her bestfriend but she didnt expect me to act like this and said maybe we needed some distance and hopefully we could talk soon and I said thats her decision. 5 days later she went to the hospital and died from a massive heart attack and organ failure due to alcohol. Her aunt sent me a picture of her in the hospital and she was completely yellow/green something I thought I would have never seen in my life. .I never got to say good bye and the last conversation we had was me being frustrated with her and now Ill be going to spread her ashes this weekend. My heart is broken. Thank you so much everyone for the kind words, I haven't really reached out to anyone in my own life to talk about this as its very hard for me to be vulnerable and ask for help so I deeply appreciate all these comments, it has made my day a little bit easier.